Better Life

I know most of the time

It’s hard to keep in mind
From lessons learned
Comes better life, better life

- Conditions “Better Life”

I haven’t stood on the Bishop Grandin Bridge since I wanted to jump off of it.

I’ve driven over it, but my feet haven’t touched it. Last week that changed. I did part of my interview for CTV News Winnipeg on the bridge. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, although it helped to have such friendly people to listen to my story while I was up there.

They came to interview me because they read my blog. It will be on tonight, at a newsy time. (Here is the link, you might have to turn off ad block: http://winnipeg.ctvnews.ca/video?clipId=302424&binId=1.1164782&playlistPageNum=1 ). It’s going to get personal, and it might get a little intense, but if you read my blog, you’re used to that. Hopefully more people get to see that it’s okay to talk about mental health issues in public, because the stigma sucks. You’ll also get to enjoy my rainbow mohawk toque.

I’ve never been referred to as a “Winnipeg man” in a headline before, so that’s kind of cool.

Sharing with all of you through my blog has helped me let people know what I’m feeling without the pressure of having to go one on one again and again, which can be somewhat stressful, especially when person after person wants to know what’s going on.

But I hope it’s also helped everyone reading this. I’ve had so many comments and emails from people saying that they’ve been through similar or worse experiences than mine, and that having someone talk publicly about it made them want to get help. I’m humbled by the positive things people have said about what I’ve written.

I still get stressed out. I still feel like absolute shit sometimes.

But right now, I feel safe, and I feel like I want to accomplish things.

I have a plan to get better, and to everyone else reading this, you can feel better too.

I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but having a support system that you can open up to, even if that system is made up of strangers, can be what saves your life.

The song “Better Life” is from the absolutely unreal album Fluorescent Youth by the band Conditions. If you’re ever feeling like crap, this is a great song to at least energize you a little bit.

It always reminds me not to wait to get better.