Today I was listening to the Dashboard Confessional album, “Dusk and Summer”. Don’t Wait kicks off the album, and that song was the last little kick I needed to start writing again.
I’ve been waiting to post on my blog for quite a while now.
I made a half hearted attempt to talk about the World Cup, but I wasn’t ready to start posting regularly again.
I’m honestly pretty nervous about it.
There have been posts I’ve written in the past that have done really well, and by that I mean that more than a handful of my friends have read them. My posts about mental health and my experiences with suicidal ideation have been read by thousands of people, but more importantly, have touched some too. The messages that I get from some people are intense, both in the gratitude they have for me writing about what I’ve gone through, or through the help they need that I try to direct them to when I get a desperate cry for help.
That is scary.
I’m glad that I can help anyone in any small way, but damn is it scary to get messages from people feeling the same way I did. But I don’t want them to stop. Because at least they’re reaching out somewhere. I’m working toward a world where maybe they’ll feel more comfortable reaching out to someone closer to them, instead of a stranger on the Internet.
My friend Justin has been writing about what it’s been like for him to cope with depression, anxiety, and his own suicide attempt. I honestly think that he’s better at writing about it than me. You should read his blog.
Some days I think that everyone on the Internet is better at writing than me, and that includes YouTube commenters.
But I’m not going to wait anymore.
I’m not going to wait to be happy, and blogging is something that makes me happy.
The posts are going to be shorter, and they’re going to be a little more silly.
But I just want to write.
Hopefully you’ll want to read it.
*I actually just want to be like Alyson Shane. But I guess instead of Queen of the Internet, I’d be like, a baron/esquire/princess of the Internet…or something.