I upgraded my phone to iOS 7 yesterday.

My phone had been jailbroken for years. I loved having custom software and the power to change the look and feel of my iPhone. I loved experiencing the functionality that Apple hadn’t added to their software, but was possible by jailbreaking my phone. I loved being able to play Pokemon on the same thing I phoned my mom on.

Then, I threw all that away after but a moment of thought.

I upgraded my phone software.

It was so easy. Just a few minutes to download and install a piece of software that would make me fall in love with my iPhone all over again. It feels like I’m suddenly holding a brand new device, but with the same familiar feeling; like picking up exactly where you left off with a good friend.

I upgraded my software.

Apple made so many changes to how things look. A brand new design, but more than a new coat of paint. It’s more like changing the whole wardrobe of the phone, and suddenly my iPhone struts around with a newfound confidence, getting compliments on its new haircut and better battery life.

It’s the same phone I’ve had for a year, but it feels brand new.

When we decide we want something new, we are usually so quick to get our hands on it, or make a change. We weigh the options and decide that we “want this now.” It’s so easy to upgrade our software, or our wardrobe, but that doesn’t change our hardware. A new design might make me actually want to use the default iPhone calendar app, and a new shirt might bring out the colour of my eyes enough to make someone compliment me on them.

But will be enough to make them forget that there really is nothing innovative or new about the new calendar app, or that syncing still messes up if you have multiple Google calendars, and that expanded calendar view and your day at a glance don’t really show you anything you actually need in an easy to read fashion (I’ve had some serious beef with the default iPhone calendar app for years).

Maybe a new shirt will be enough to distract them from the fact that your eyes are dark from lack of sleep where you can’t help but beat yourself up for how behind you might be getting at school, which just leads to you getting more behind at school.

Maybe a new haircut will cover up your lack of control, where your thoughts spiral off into the shadows in the darkest reaches of your internal hard drive. Your hair is something you know you can change, a cosmetic redesign that might enhance the user experience for you and your friends.

Unfortunately, you can’t just upgrade your mind’s software and fix the bugs and errors it throws you in the middle of the night, racing between processes and tying up all your RAM so that you can’t clear the cache and sleep.

You can barely even reboot. (Have you tried turning yourself on and off again? Thanks AppleCare.)

We’re stuck with the hardware we’ve got, and even our software upgrades are only cosmetic. Fixing the bugs feels like shooting in the dark, and I’m pretty mothers don’t take returns on their children either.

But we still think all our software upgrades will make a difference.

New clothes, new hair, or new software on our iPhone…

I guess I’ll just keep upgrading to feel in control.